makin it happen. or not...

last weekend on the hity...

here's the thing. some girls like tall blonde guys that have finance jobs and love themselves. some like hot brunettes with green eyes that are super sensi and watch lipstick jungle with them. i envy those girls. i like guys that appear to be normal on the outside but end up being kind of crazy. mentally.

it used to be creep allstars. i'm sure this term will be better defined when i start dating one again but basically they are the crazies that like to creep in and out of your life. actually, mostly just creep back in. they peace out when they're "done" then slooooooooowly creep back in. mostly bc you let them and unfortunately, my track record with letting them isn't that great. recently, i've moved onto freaks. when garbanzo and i were seri considering creating our blog (this discussion happened weekly during our weds book clubs which consisted of drinking wine and reading self-help books outloud so we could solve our problems/watching LSJ - lipstick jungle and learning from their mistakes, stupid joe bennett leaving victory and wowzers get me a kirby, but only if he's mentally unstable, thanks), she was going to be named freak lover flambe and i was creep lover casserole. i think bc gar has decided to go on hiatus and warm the bench bc her three is off, i have decided to pick up the freaks.

this week i decided that i would give someone a second chance. not bc he was creeping back in but bc i actually liked him, saw potential, and thought why not? my horoscope has been telling me since september 2008 to wait until 2009 bc this is the year that i will be the celestial fave (i am an aquarius and this is absolutely true) so i figured that i have absolutely nothing to lose. this is sort of true.

we had a great date. it was honestly a blast. he explained why he was a spazz the last time we saw each other, i ate those words up and i patted myself on the back for "makin it happen" (shout out to MKG - mary katherine gallagher for making my bday dinner with that quote which i now use on a daily basis bc ladies, we are).

********picture it********

vday brunch at 2pm at polkers. chicken club with curlies and a side of cole slaw for morris, bacon cheese burger with REGULAR fries (this should've been a sign something was wrong) and a side of biscuits and gravy for Tubular.

Tubular: i need to talk to you about something.

Morris: um okay, what's up?

Tubular: i farted in your room three times this morning.

Morris: WHEN YOU MADE ME BE THE MAN PART OF THE SPOON AND I FELL ASLEEP?!?!?!?

Tubular: oh no! when you were getting ready. i farted three, well four times.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? really, this is not normal. granted everyone laughs at farts or any topic of conversation that has farts in it. a smart person once told me that farts brings joy to everyones' lives. the person that hears it and the person the deals it. this is true. but this is not the convo that i should be having even if i am extremely hungover and have about 10 working braincells.

and now i will cut this story short and just say that once again, i dated someone who decided to fall off the face of the earth for a day and not call me back (even though i was kind enough to give someone a second chance) and i ended my sunday like any normal person would. at rex, drinking two bottles of wine with two besties and getting healed by this really weird witch woman who was sitting at the bar and said she studied healing and could suck my bad energy out. i think that she reverse vacuumed someone elses bad energy in which explains why i pirate-eye wrote an email completely hammied at 12:30 am telling Tubular (in a very nice way) that i do not want to see him again. the email subject was "FYI - sausage and biscuits". who does that?

long story short, this is what most of my postings will be about bc i like boys. a lot. and i really like awk situations and i usually put myself in them. this week will be better though bc my sfgate horoscope told me it is supposed to be amazing and i read that every morning before i start in on the work emails.

xoxo (FML),
morris